Tag Archives: surgery

Phew….

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okay, time has flown by again and I’m a bit behind with my posts!

last time I mentioned that I had to have some further tests done. Well these have been carried out and I have been to see the oncologist for the results….

the news was GOOD! Everything was ‘normal’ (whatever that may be!) and I actually got to hear the words ” you are in remission!”

I still have to be monitored etc but that is reassuring to me. Needless to say we did have a little celebration!! Now I just need to find where I put all my energy – I seem to have misplaced it somewhere and I really do need to find it now! X

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How time flies……

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Well, I’m amazed at how the time has flown. It’s a year ago since my second battle with pesky cancer.

i had the surgery, followed by 15 sessions of radio therapy. Once again I got off light and told I didn’t need chemo.

The radio therapy was ok. It was more nuisance than anything else. Because the cancer had been so close to the middle of my chest my oncologist was worried about the normal sort of radio used for breast cancer damaging my heart and both lungs – hearing that kind of thing always makes you feel better! So he decided to do a more shallow version more commonly used for skin cancers.

My skin did burn quite bad and the E45 cream they said to use on it made it worse, but a bit of aloe vera gel did the trick

A little cooked

Recovering quite well from all of this I decided to learn how to play golf!
I joined some group lessons at our local golf course and I really enjoy it. I have even gone out in the rain to play – not like me at all. But I’m liking it soooo much I decided to get a proper membership and take the game up.

Recently I’ve been back to see the onc and get the results of my CT scan that I had done last month.
He was super pleased at how well my skin had healed, in fact you can hardly see where I had the radio therapy
My blood tests came back fine BUT – and there it is. The “but” . Blood starts running cold again.
it now seems there is a shadow in my large bowel and a shadow in my right lung. I was gob smacked. In fact, my gob had never felt so smacked. All I could think was “blink in’ heck…not again!”
Now I am waiting for a colonoscopy (what a JOY!) and a repeat CT in three months.
Rightly or wrongly I am feeling a little bit done for. Should I bother writing my Christmas list?? Will I be around long enough?? Will I get to my next birthday?? Should I bother buying a new pair of uggs?? Will I EVER get a bus pass? (I’ll be bloody annoyed if I don’t !)
More’s to the point should I get a years membership for my golf?
I’ll let you know how it goes

Recovering well…….

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Came out of surgery okay.

I was a little surprised to see a great big dressing and a drain but I have every faith in my surgeon.

when said surgeon came to see me the next morning she explained that the dressing etc was to try and curb bruising. Apparently the tumour was attached to my muscle – not sure if that is a bad thing but I don’t like the sound of it. I really don’t want to lose my muscle, it would end up with an even bigger dent than I’ve got already and I think that this little episode may  have put me off having a reconstruction for a while.

I have an appointment with my consultant on Wednesday, hopefully it will be good news but I have to confess to being a tad worried. Do I feel lucky?…..

Here I am again……

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Just before my last post – 2 days before in fact – I had been to see my breast care team for my annual follow up. Everything was fine, no problems and was told I would be seen again next year. Phew! What a relief.

Anybody that has been in this sort of situation knows how it feels to be told by your surgeon that there is no sign of anything abnormal. Little did I know then that feeling was going to be short lived.

let me fill you in…..

About a month after seeing the consultant I felt a lump. A small lump in the same side as I had had my mastectomy.  “It can’t be anything serious ” I thought. There is nothing there to get breast cancer in. Keep an eye on it I thought.

two weeks later I thought it was getting bigger……off to the GP I go.

“Hmm,” he said “let’s be on the safe side and get the consultant to check it out”

“Hmm,” I thought ” that don’t sound too promising”

so off to the clinic I go.

One examination, one scan and one biopsy later it was confirmed…….I had cancer back.

so then the fear is, has it spread anywhere else?

a rather busy few days followed. A CT scan of head chest abdo and pelvis, , blood tests, bone scan all came back clear – except for an enlarged lymph node in my chest.

yay! Another surgery to remove the lump followed by radio this time should sort it out.

So, here I am, going in for surgery tomorrow morning.

The speed at which this has all happened is amazing (and not to mention a little scary). But there it is, that is how it goes. The positive in all this is that we caught it before it could cause any more problems.

Hopefully it will not come back again – fingers crossed x

It scared me………

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I heard somewhere once that you should do something everyday that scares you. Well today I did just that.

I’ve been struggling a bit with coming to terms with my new figure!

To be honest with you I don’t much like it at all

Problem is though it is something I’ve got to put up with for a while……so learning to accept it is high priority

so, today I took a bold step, well I think it is quite a bold brave step. For me it was.

So, I know you are wondering what this major step was that I took, I had a photo shoot with our local photographers!

She is a lovely girl and put me at my ease and yes I have had my mastectomy scar photographed! All done very tastefully of course but I feel hopeful of some nice photos!

Because I was having a  ‘nearly naked’ photo taken I couldn’t wear my bra or prosthesis to go into town…..,so that was another challenge and another fear faced.

I have to admit to feeling quite good about my bravery so I will celebrate with a nice cup of tea! Can’t wait to see my pictures now!

 

 

missing my craft room……..

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We have lived here at the seaside for just over a year now and I absolutely love it. Despite the fact that we have had a bit of a rough time (him indoors had major surgery last summer and took 3 months to recover, our cat got kidney disease and “went to a better place” – he was well old, we think about 17 years – and the I got ‘the cancer’) but even with everything that has happened I wouldn’t change a thing. Well that’s not quite true.
The house we had before was larger, not a mansion by any means, but it was a four bed house with just me & him (and a son that stayed a while!) in it, and I was lucky enough to be able to claim the smallest bedroom as my craft room.
A whole room dedicated to my crafty untidyness….Bliss!
Him indoors shelved the entire end wall for me to my specifications to fit my needs, and I had full length curtains in front so I could hide the organised chaos! I had my work table and two chairs (so that any visiting grand daughters could join in), my computer and a stereo. A beautifully light room with a big window and lovingly known as ‘The Doing room’ what more could I want?
I spent many lovely long hours in there – just me and my craftiness, especially when I was preparing for a craft fair……..heaven!

Then when we moved we down sized to a two bed bungalow – which I really do love. Every day here I feel like I am on holiday. The bugalow has a kind of holiday lodge feel to it. It’s small (but perfectly formed) but it fits us and our visitors ok. The only thing missing is my craft room, and I do miss that.
I have the benefit of a room in the garden which I have called ‘The Makery’. Its ok in the summer months but not much fun in the winter time. My granddaughters love it out there and we can lose the youngest one for hours on end. But, for me, it’s not the same as my Doing Room.
My craft bits are spread around the entire bungalow, bits here, bits there because no where is big enough to take it all in one place.
Sigh……..I do miss my craft room.

damned pyjamas………

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Before I went to sleep last night I had a little tear (or two) in my eyes. Not a major sobbing session by any means but a little ‘my eyes won’t stop leaking’ kind of thing.

And the same thing happened again this morning.

I really don’t like the new me at all.

All day long my great big bra is uncomfortable. No matter how tight I wear it, it still swizzless round – I assume it is because there is no boob in the way to stop it moving round.
I have to keep on (and on) moving it back….and that is not easy ‘cos it’s so tight.
And because it is soooo tight it gets uncomfortable uncomfortable and painful around my ribs by the end of the day

So I put my pyjamas on…..

And there we have the problem – I look ridiculous. I’ve said this before I know but it’s not getting any better.
I can’t get past this fact and that upsets me too.

I’m ever so glad that I am on anti depressants already. Goodness only knows what kind of sniveling wreck I’d be if I wasn’t on them. I guess that is what holds back the full on sobbing stuff.
Makes me wonder will I ever come off them??. And if I do what on earth will happen??. Reality will really kick in then………I’ll stay on them for a while longer me thinks!!

I feel like I should put a photo on here to prove my point. But I don’t want to offend or shock any one out there.
Oh, what the heck………think I’ll do it anyway. So please look away now if you are easily offended

Scroll down…….

Scroll down……..

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And that isn’t the worst PJ top – tight ones are worse.

I wonder if I’ll always feel like this? I do hope not.

Cinderella went to the Ball…….

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So the ball was last night.

We had a lovely time……and a jolly good laugh.

And the dress….

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And the shoes……

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Everything worked fine, and I didn’t lose my fake boobicle once!

All round, realty quite pleased. x

summer ball……

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Tonight is the ‘summer ball’ (summer? Ha ha!)

It’s a black tie kind of a doo and the theme is black & white. For quite a while we didn’t know for sure if we would be able to go – it all depended on what treatment I was going to need. But all is ok and we can go.

It has caused me a few problems. All my evening dresses were bought when I had two boobs and didn’t need to wear a ‘suit of humpty back westcoats’ to hold them!

Why do bras suitable for after mastectomy need to be so big and bulky?? Chunky great big heavy straps, cups that are cut right up high into your armpit and yet still don’t hold everything in at the front,
four hooks…..yes FOUR hooks to do up at the back. None of this adds up to comfort.
I could compromise on comfort if there was confidence that my prosthesis was secure. But I don’t have that confidence. It tends to move around a bit and ends up in a heap in the middle. Something is not right.
To try and get round the ‘secure’ issue, yesterday I bought some ‘body tape for curvy girl’s!
I tried it out as soon as I got home and guess what……..I’m ALLERGIC to it!!! Darn it!!!!

Any way, I digress, back to my dress……..
Hubby and I searched the shops. Our check list was:

Wide shoulder straps
High neck
High armholes
And obviously black or white
(and preferably something that can be worn again – we are definitely not loaded!!!!)

We had a list of shops that sold such things and off we went. Into the first shop and there it was….my dress, calling to me, saying buy me.
A beautifully fitted black AND white long dress, I tried it on and Woohoo it fitted. It looked gorgeous – except for the neckline. Cut in a low vee it looked a little daft with my great big, super-deep-in-the-middle bra with a silicone boob sticking out the top of it!

But undeterred I felt sure I could sort that little problem out and Cinderella will be going to the ball.

I won’t put a picture now. But maybe tomorrow x

a lesson in being thankful…..

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Today I was feeling a teensy bit sorry for myself. I seem to be struggling more and more each day with coming to terms with only having one boob. I am having such a lot of problems with getting good fitting undergarments that don’t flash off my silicone all the time.
I’m not too sure that my prosthesis is a good fit either. It seems too wide to me and it kind of collects in a heap in the middle of my chest.
Any way, in order to cheer myself up a bit, I zipped up my hoody right up to my chin and set off to town. I thought I’d get my hair cut, that would do the trick.
I got a walk in appointment with a hairdresser I haven’t met before. A lovely girl.we were chatting away and I told her about my situation and then, just as she was about to start cutting, she threw a bombshell into the conversation……

She had suffered a brain aneurysm three years ago, she was only 29 years old at the time with two very young children, babies really.
The aneurysm caused her to have a stroke. She lost the sight in one eye, couldn’t walk or talk or do anything for herself. She was held in a coma for three months and was in hospital for several more months after that.

With sheer strength of character and determination, three years on she has made an amazing recovery. She is walking, talking and hairdressing as she did before. Her sight is still lost in one eye but you wouldn’t know. She is a true inspiration. She has fought the odds with such courage – and all I’ve got to worry about is the lack of a boob.

Shame on me for feeling such self pity…….Oh, and the haircut is great!