Tag Archives: prosthesis



okay, time has flown by again and I’m a bit behind with my posts!

last time I mentioned that I had to have some further tests done. Well these have been carried out and I have been to see the oncologist for the results….

the news was GOOD! Everything was ‘normal’ (whatever that may be!) and I actually got to hear the words ” you are in remission!”

I still have to be monitored etc but that is reassuring to me. Needless to say we did have a little celebration!! Now I just need to find where I put all my energy – I seem to have misplaced it somewhere and I really do need to find it now! X


It scared me………


I heard somewhere once that you should do something everyday that scares you. Well today I did just that.

I’ve been struggling a bit with coming to terms with my new figure!

To be honest with you I don’t much like it at all

Problem is though it is something I’ve got to put up with for a while……so learning to accept it is high priority

so, today I took a bold step, well I think it is quite a bold brave step. For me it was.

So, I know you are wondering what this major step was that I took, I had a photo shoot with our local photographers!

She is a lovely girl and put me at my ease and yes I have had my mastectomy scar photographed! All done very tastefully of course but I feel hopeful of some nice photos!

Because I was having a  ‘nearly naked’ photo taken I couldn’t wear my bra or prosthesis to go into town…..,so that was another challenge and another fear faced.

I have to admit to feeling quite good about my bravery so I will celebrate with a nice cup of tea! Can’t wait to see my pictures now!



seems I’ve got a result…….


Those of you that have been following me know the problems I have had with my silicone boobicle since my mastectomy. For those that are newbies to me the story so far has not been great. The good news was there was no lymph node involvement, the cancer hadn’t spread and I didn’t need chemo or radio so the mastectomy was all I needed. The downside for me has been psychological. I have had a lot of trouble finding a comfortable prosthesis that fits well and stays in place all day and looks right.

Well…….I don’t like to speak too soon………but I think I may have sorted myself out! Yay!!

I have found a Charnos underwired bra – just an ordinary one, nothing with pockets here, and a Silima prosthesis and the combo is great. For the last few days I have been trialling this and I get dressed in the morning and by the time I go to bed I haven’t had to adjust things all day…..everything is still where I put it. Bliss!

I still have some paranoia about things, slipping and migrating, but a quick peep is all it takes to realise all is well. I hope with a bit more time the paranoia will subside and I will just forget that I have a false boobicle. Looking forward to that day.

one point of note here: it’s really cold to wear first thing in the morning, I’m dreading the winter months — I’ll have to find a way to warm it up before I get dressed. 🙂

For UK followers: Just a little note about the silima prosthesis. The ladies that work there are fantastic. They don’t have a shop so it’s all done over the phone but they are so helpful. I ended with my tape measure, told them how wide across I am and they measured the prosthesis at their end. Then it’s free uk returns if the size isn’t right and they don’t mind how many times you have to change it, they just want it to be right for you. Excellent customer service and quick deliveries. Perfick!

For now, I’m a very happy bunny x

Cinderella went to the Ball…….


So the ball was last night.

We had a lovely time……and a jolly good laugh.

And the dress….


And the shoes……


Everything worked fine, and I didn’t lose my fake boobicle once!

All round, realty quite pleased. x

summer ball……


Tonight is the ‘summer ball’ (summer? Ha ha!)

It’s a black tie kind of a doo and the theme is black & white. For quite a while we didn’t know for sure if we would be able to go – it all depended on what treatment I was going to need. But all is ok and we can go.

It has caused me a few problems. All my evening dresses were bought when I had two boobs and didn’t need to wear a ‘suit of humpty back westcoats’ to hold them!

Why do bras suitable for after mastectomy need to be so big and bulky?? Chunky great big heavy straps, cups that are cut right up high into your armpit and yet still don’t hold everything in at the front,
four hooks…..yes FOUR hooks to do up at the back. None of this adds up to comfort.
I could compromise on comfort if there was confidence that my prosthesis was secure. But I don’t have that confidence. It tends to move around a bit and ends up in a heap in the middle. Something is not right.
To try and get round the ‘secure’ issue, yesterday I bought some ‘body tape for curvy girl’s!
I tried it out as soon as I got home and guess what……..I’m ALLERGIC to it!!! Darn it!!!!

Any way, I digress, back to my dress……..
Hubby and I searched the shops. Our check list was:

Wide shoulder straps
High neck
High armholes
And obviously black or white
(and preferably something that can be worn again – we are definitely not loaded!!!!)

We had a list of shops that sold such things and off we went. Into the first shop and there it was….my dress, calling to me, saying buy me.
A beautifully fitted black AND white long dress, I tried it on and Woohoo it fitted. It looked gorgeous – except for the neckline. Cut in a low vee it looked a little daft with my great big, super-deep-in-the-middle bra with a silicone boob sticking out the top of it!

But undeterred I felt sure I could sort that little problem out and Cinderella will be going to the ball.

I won’t put a picture now. But maybe tomorrow x

let’s talk prosthesis ………..


Last night I went to my monthly support group meeting. A lovely group of ladies who have all been through,or are still going through, breast cancer and its treatments.

I have to say that compared to these brave ladies I feel a little bit like a fraud. Don’t get me wrong here, I know how very lucky I am and I feel blessed that I don’t need any chemo or radiotherapy but at the same time I feel almost like an under achiever!!! I’m not sure I ‘deserve’ my seat with these brave, strong beautiful ladies. For me, a bit of surgery and some tablets for a few years……nothing really is it?
I’m embarrassed to admit that I have struggled on more than one occasion, with coming to terms with stuff – how I look and stuff like that.
But there are ladies out there that have been through all this more than once, have been through chemo more than once, had radio and then had to go through it all again. My heart goes out to all of you ladies …. you are amazing xxx

Back to yesterday’s group meeting – we had a lady from the hospital prosthetic department come in and give us a chat.
It was really interesting. She gave us a bit of a potted history of mastectomy and prosthesis.

Mastectomy has been happening for a long time now but in the early days the ladies were left to sort themselves out, there was no aftercare or prosthesis, they were told to do without or to use cotton wool or to make a bag and fill it with bird seed.

Breast forms came about in the 1940s – they were little bags filled with kapok, not unlike the softies of today.
In the late 40’s an inflatable prosthesis came about. Quite a hard sort of plastic balloon that was blown up through a straw to get the right size! These were good from the size point of view but they had a habit of deflating ……sometimes noisily! They were also a problem for air travellers. The change in air pressure could cause the prosthesis to expand and maybe even explode!!

From there it moved on to a little bag filled with tiny glass beads. Adjustable size wise but rather hard and unpleasant.

In the 60’s the oil filled breast form arrived. These worked well as long as they didn’t leak.
The silicone breast form arrived in the mid 70’s and is improving all the time.
(If any facts or figures here are wrong, wrong please don’t blame me, I’m only going by a fact sheet I was given last night!!)

Speaking of silicone prosthesis – I got mine on Wednesday. Totes amaze-balls!! looks pretty good……even if I do say so myself!

However, I am gobsmacked at how HEAVY it is! It’s fine when being worn but if you take your bra off with it still in it is surprisingly weighty. Apparently it is supposed to be approximately the same weight as breast tissue……..so, maybe my weight gain isn’t down to my big butt after all, yay!!

Right, time for tea me thinks xx

lousy day…….

lousy day…….

Well, I suppose it was bound to happen eventually! I’ve had an absolutely rubbish day.

With ‘him indoors’ back at work, and me on my own 24 – 7 I just have too much time on my own. I’m sure I could cope with the daytime if only he came home in the evening. But he doesn’t. He does ring – several times a day – but it’s not the same is it?
I’d like a little hug and hand holding.

Today, with all this me time I have thought too much and dwelt on things. I have had a bit of a ‘why me’ day and as hard as I have tried I just can’t come up with a ‘why not me’

I’m not happy, and I don’t like it.
The gaping hole between my skin and my bra has been really obvious to me for some reason today. I don’t know why today should be any different to any of the other days but it has. Every time I have looked in the mirror I have had one boob drooping to what seems like my knees (not much support in the post surgery under garment…….a lot of material but not much else!) and the other boob floating somewhere over my shoulder. Not very satisfactory. I hope my proper fake breasticle will be better and hang more like the other one. But I don’t get to find out for a few more weeks yet, I have to wait until my wound is fully healed

On the subject of healing……
My wound is mending well. It pulls in places still but generally it’s ok. The glue is starting to come off in parts which is quite weird. It flakes and catches on the lining of my bra, but at least it doesn’t hurt too much. I was told to keep the skin well moisturised but I don’t particularly like touching it. It feels so flat and hard, which of course it is, after all it is just skin and ribs (and I haven’t felt them for more years than I care to remember!!)
My cold / cough is getting worse. Honestly, I could live without that at the moment.

before I go………

before I go………

Before I go and take my place in the sun……..
While I was getting dressed this morning, I realised I wasn’t very happy with my ‘cumfie’ yesterday. For some reason it wasn’t working awfully well. I think that, in an effort to get it right, I had fiddled with its lining and stuffing so much – in a very disorganized kind of way I might add – that it was no longer anything like what it’s supposed to be!
And besides, I’m an artistic sort of person and the symmetry was not near enough for my liking. So this morning I have completely dismantled it, rearranged it and ‘re-mantled’ it. I hope it lives up to its name a bit better today – here’s to the cumfie.

Maybe I should knit myself a new boob!

every day in every way……….


Today is yet another day post surgery and everyday in every way it all just gets better and better!
I find it very hard to believe that tomorrow it will be two weeks ago that I was off to the hospital for my first ever surgery. The time has flown by so quickly.

Pain is definitely minimal now and my arm movement is better by the minute. However, the glue that held it all together is getting quite itchy and scratchy now. I think it will fall off soon…….I hope it does.

It does help, I think, that the sun has been shining for a few days now and I’ve had the opportunity to be sitting out in the garden, enjoying the sea air and getting stronger all the time. While I was sitting out there today I couldn’t help but think how much my mum would have loved it here.

Yesterday I was feeling a teensy bit low about my rather ugly bra. Him indoors, being the sweetie that he is, took me out and bought me a new bra. Bless him. I can’t wear it just yet, but it is more the kind of thing I’m used , much more of a bra than a vest and it will be a huge boost of confidence. I can’t wait until I can wear it (I’ll probably have my proper fake boob by them) Ahhh, I do love him you know!

Now, as I said before, we were supposed to be going out but had to cancel our tickets. Well, we popped into the quite bar for a drink and were joined by lots of lovely people, friends, that made our evening splendid. we laughed and chatted and I felt so ‘loved and nurtured’ by all of them. Thank you peeps, it is your warmth and friendship I am sure that has made my recovery so swift.

On a different subject, I’ve been asked for the pattern for my ‘Little Ted’ Well, I didn’t actually work from a pattern. I just kinda made it up as I went along. I will try and write it down (after a fashion!) and put it on here eventually.

I feel frumpy…….


Today is a funny old day and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

We should have been going out for a swanky evening with a lot of glamorous people this evening but obviously we had to cancel our tickets due to my surgery. So instead of planning a pretty outfit for tonight I’m looking at putting on me vest and pull up trousers!!
I’m feeling a bit frumpy. While I had all the initial pain and tenderness and was wandering around the house just in my dressing gown it didn’t bother me in the slightest.

But today is a little different.

It will pass – I know it will. Time will make a difference I know that too, with more healing time I will be able to wear a nicer bra – one that looks like a bra and doesn’t resemble a school vest!

But right at this moment….I FEEL FRUMPY!