Tag Archives: mastectomy

Phew….

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okay, time has flown by again and I’m a bit behind with my posts!

last time I mentioned that I had to have some further tests done. Well these have been carried out and I have been to see the oncologist for the results….

the news was GOOD! Everything was ‘normal’ (whatever that may be!) and I actually got to hear the words ” you are in remission!”

I still have to be monitored etc but that is reassuring to me. Needless to say we did have a little celebration!! Now I just need to find where I put all my energy – I seem to have misplaced it somewhere and I really do need to find it now! X

How time flies……

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Well, I’m amazed at how the time has flown. It’s a year ago since my second battle with pesky cancer.

i had the surgery, followed by 15 sessions of radio therapy. Once again I got off light and told I didn’t need chemo.

The radio therapy was ok. It was more nuisance than anything else. Because the cancer had been so close to the middle of my chest my oncologist was worried about the normal sort of radio used for breast cancer damaging my heart and both lungs – hearing that kind of thing always makes you feel better! So he decided to do a more shallow version more commonly used for skin cancers.

My skin did burn quite bad and the E45 cream they said to use on it made it worse, but a bit of aloe vera gel did the trick

A little cooked

Recovering quite well from all of this I decided to learn how to play golf!
I joined some group lessons at our local golf course and I really enjoy it. I have even gone out in the rain to play – not like me at all. But I’m liking it soooo much I decided to get a proper membership and take the game up.

Recently I’ve been back to see the onc and get the results of my CT scan that I had done last month.
He was super pleased at how well my skin had healed, in fact you can hardly see where I had the radio therapy
My blood tests came back fine BUT – and there it is. The “but” . Blood starts running cold again.
it now seems there is a shadow in my large bowel and a shadow in my right lung. I was gob smacked. In fact, my gob had never felt so smacked. All I could think was “blink in’ heck…not again!”
Now I am waiting for a colonoscopy (what a JOY!) and a repeat CT in three months.
Rightly or wrongly I am feeling a little bit done for. Should I bother writing my Christmas list?? Will I be around long enough?? Will I get to my next birthday?? Should I bother buying a new pair of uggs?? Will I EVER get a bus pass? (I’ll be bloody annoyed if I don’t !)
More’s to the point should I get a years membership for my golf?
I’ll let you know how it goes

Recovering well…….

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Came out of surgery okay.

I was a little surprised to see a great big dressing and a drain but I have every faith in my surgeon.

when said surgeon came to see me the next morning she explained that the dressing etc was to try and curb bruising. Apparently the tumour was attached to my muscle – not sure if that is a bad thing but I don’t like the sound of it. I really don’t want to lose my muscle, it would end up with an even bigger dent than I’ve got already and I think that this little episode may  have put me off having a reconstruction for a while.

I have an appointment with my consultant on Wednesday, hopefully it will be good news but I have to confess to being a tad worried. Do I feel lucky?…..

It scared me………

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I heard somewhere once that you should do something everyday that scares you. Well today I did just that.

I’ve been struggling a bit with coming to terms with my new figure!

To be honest with you I don’t much like it at all

Problem is though it is something I’ve got to put up with for a while……so learning to accept it is high priority

so, today I took a bold step, well I think it is quite a bold brave step. For me it was.

So, I know you are wondering what this major step was that I took, I had a photo shoot with our local photographers!

She is a lovely girl and put me at my ease and yes I have had my mastectomy scar photographed! All done very tastefully of course but I feel hopeful of some nice photos!

Because I was having a  ‘nearly naked’ photo taken I couldn’t wear my bra or prosthesis to go into town…..,so that was another challenge and another fear faced.

I have to admit to feeling quite good about my bravery so I will celebrate with a nice cup of tea! Can’t wait to see my pictures now!

 

 

What a day……

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Well 2014 hasn’t quite had the fantastic start I had hoped for.

After last years crappiness – cancer, mastectomy and all that- I had higher hopes for this year……it hasn’t worked out like that…….yet.

The day before yesterday was like a day from hell……what went wrong? I’m sure you’re asking……well, I will tell you:

I was nearly on my way out the door to go to my optician appointment when my eldest offspring rang my mobile. Whilst on the phone to my son (trying to sort out a problem for him) hubby rang the other phone leaving a message to ring him – he had a bit of a problem!

So finishing one problem phone call I rang the other one back. Hubby told me that on his way into work he had hit a fox with the car. That made him feel bad but then he set off to go to another site only to find that hitting the fox had actually damaged the car ( front skirt and radiator) so now he was stranded up a country lane with an overheating car and no water! Lucky for him it was recycling day so a house along the road had put out empty plastic bottles – his inspiration was to aquire a bottle or two and ask the householder to fill up with water. Good plan except while he was on the phone to me the recycling truck came along and emptied the bin!!

So any hoo the reason he needed to speak to me was for the car insurance details. That’s ok I knew exactly where they were didn’t I? Wrong! They weren’t where I thought they should be! So telling him I would have to hunt for them later because I was going to be late for my appointment we finished our phone call.

I settled the dogs, put on my lippy and left the house only to find that MY car wouldn’t start. By now I was so late there was no way I could walk or get the bus so I had to ring and cancel my appointment. Now got to wait a week for another one.

I started the search for the car documents, they weren’t in the first place they should have been, nor the second! So I upped the search! Out of desperation I remembered there was a basket with some papers in a cupboard, a new cupboard we only fitted less than a year ago, and to my horror…..the basket was mouldy!! Yuk! It was a lovely basket too – now it is in the bin! But worse still it had ruined the shelf so now that is in the bin too!

OK, I’m sure you’re getting the feel for this now aren’t you?

Having got said documents I rang him indoors with the details he needed – and guess what…….we didn’t have recovery on that policy!

Darn it!

So he got that sorted but couldn’t use the recovery for 24hours! There he was 130+ miles away from home having to wait till the next day to get recovered!

Happy Days!

Next another phone call, this time from the hospital offering me an appointment that I had been waiting for, for the following day, which I had to decline as I had a pre-arranged pub lunch with the ladies from the breast cancer support group that I really didn’t want to miss so had to re-arrange for next week.

My day just kept getting worse and worse with lots of little things much too futile to mention but big enough to be irritating.

The following day……I went to my pub lunch by way of ‘foot power’ and indulged in a well deserved glass of wine,  the recovery vehicle picked hubby up, bought him all the way home , dropped the car off at our local garage (who he had already spoken to and who already had a radiator and a battery on order for us) and then delivered Hubby to our door!

Perfick! Hopefully things will improve from here on!

seems I’ve got a result…….

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Those of you that have been following me know the problems I have had with my silicone boobicle since my mastectomy. For those that are newbies to me the story so far has not been great. The good news was there was no lymph node involvement, the cancer hadn’t spread and I didn’t need chemo or radio so the mastectomy was all I needed. The downside for me has been psychological. I have had a lot of trouble finding a comfortable prosthesis that fits well and stays in place all day and looks right.

Well…….I don’t like to speak too soon………but I think I may have sorted myself out! Yay!!

I have found a Charnos underwired bra – just an ordinary one, nothing with pockets here, and a Silima prosthesis and the combo is great. For the last few days I have been trialling this and I get dressed in the morning and by the time I go to bed I haven’t had to adjust things all day…..everything is still where I put it. Bliss!

I still have some paranoia about things, slipping and migrating, but a quick peep is all it takes to realise all is well. I hope with a bit more time the paranoia will subside and I will just forget that I have a false boobicle. Looking forward to that day.

one point of note here: it’s really cold to wear first thing in the morning, I’m dreading the winter months — I’ll have to find a way to warm it up before I get dressed. 🙂

For UK followers: Just a little note about the silima prosthesis. The ladies that work there are fantastic. They don’t have a shop so it’s all done over the phone but they are so helpful. I ended with my tape measure, told them how wide across I am and they measured the prosthesis at their end. Then it’s free uk returns if the size isn’t right and they don’t mind how many times you have to change it, they just want it to be right for you. Excellent customer service and quick deliveries. Perfick!

For now, I’m a very happy bunny x

Shall I or Shan’t I…………..

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It’s been a while since I have posted anything on here.The truth is that I haven’t been feeling my chirpiest for quite a bit of the time and I didn’t really want to chat. I think that the tablets I have to take are having a few side effects……hopefully I’ll get over them – I don’t fancy feeling like this for five years!

However I think the worst of that might be over for a while! My mind has been getting quite creative and this morning I had a bit of a bright idea.

One that was either going to be brilliant or a complete disaster!

In our lounge I have two pine chests of drawers. I love them for their use but pine is not particularly my style – so I decided I would give them a facelift.

 

This is how it started

This is how it started

It was quite a major decision as to whether to actually do this or not……

No turning back now

No turning back now

Oh, what the heck!!  Grab the courage of my convictions and get on with it!!!

And I’m so glad I did.

Ta Dah!

Ta Dah!

I’m rather pleased with the result.

Just got another one to do tomorrow. Out of interest I took a photo of the two windows for comparison. I think it really brightens it all up.

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Hope hubby likes it.    Please let me know what you think  x x

damned pyjamas………

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Before I went to sleep last night I had a little tear (or two) in my eyes. Not a major sobbing session by any means but a little ‘my eyes won’t stop leaking’ kind of thing.

And the same thing happened again this morning.

I really don’t like the new me at all.

All day long my great big bra is uncomfortable. No matter how tight I wear it, it still swizzless round – I assume it is because there is no boob in the way to stop it moving round.
I have to keep on (and on) moving it back….and that is not easy ‘cos it’s so tight.
And because it is soooo tight it gets uncomfortable uncomfortable and painful around my ribs by the end of the day

So I put my pyjamas on…..

And there we have the problem – I look ridiculous. I’ve said this before I know but it’s not getting any better.
I can’t get past this fact and that upsets me too.

I’m ever so glad that I am on anti depressants already. Goodness only knows what kind of sniveling wreck I’d be if I wasn’t on them. I guess that is what holds back the full on sobbing stuff.
Makes me wonder will I ever come off them??. And if I do what on earth will happen??. Reality will really kick in then………I’ll stay on them for a while longer me thinks!!

I feel like I should put a photo on here to prove my point. But I don’t want to offend or shock any one out there.
Oh, what the heck………think I’ll do it anyway. So please look away now if you are easily offended

Scroll down…….

Scroll down……..

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And that isn’t the worst PJ top – tight ones are worse.

I wonder if I’ll always feel like this? I do hope not.

Cinderella went to the Ball…….

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So the ball was last night.

We had a lovely time……and a jolly good laugh.

And the dress….

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And the shoes……

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Everything worked fine, and I didn’t lose my fake boobicle once!

All round, realty quite pleased. x

summer ball……

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Tonight is the ‘summer ball’ (summer? Ha ha!)

It’s a black tie kind of a doo and the theme is black & white. For quite a while we didn’t know for sure if we would be able to go – it all depended on what treatment I was going to need. But all is ok and we can go.

It has caused me a few problems. All my evening dresses were bought when I had two boobs and didn’t need to wear a ‘suit of humpty back westcoats’ to hold them!

Why do bras suitable for after mastectomy need to be so big and bulky?? Chunky great big heavy straps, cups that are cut right up high into your armpit and yet still don’t hold everything in at the front,
four hooks…..yes FOUR hooks to do up at the back. None of this adds up to comfort.
I could compromise on comfort if there was confidence that my prosthesis was secure. But I don’t have that confidence. It tends to move around a bit and ends up in a heap in the middle. Something is not right.
To try and get round the ‘secure’ issue, yesterday I bought some ‘body tape for curvy girl’s!
I tried it out as soon as I got home and guess what……..I’m ALLERGIC to it!!! Darn it!!!!

Any way, I digress, back to my dress……..
Hubby and I searched the shops. Our check list was:

Wide shoulder straps
High neck
High armholes
And obviously black or white
(and preferably something that can be worn again – we are definitely not loaded!!!!)

We had a list of shops that sold such things and off we went. Into the first shop and there it was….my dress, calling to me, saying buy me.
A beautifully fitted black AND white long dress, I tried it on and Woohoo it fitted. It looked gorgeous – except for the neckline. Cut in a low vee it looked a little daft with my great big, super-deep-in-the-middle bra with a silicone boob sticking out the top of it!

But undeterred I felt sure I could sort that little problem out and Cinderella will be going to the ball.

I won’t put a picture now. But maybe tomorrow x