Tag Archives: breast cancer

Hospital again…..

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so, anyway…. I had a hospital appointment just a few days before going away. The news was not particularly good 😦

lets have a recap –

in January I was given those fantastic words’ you are in remission!’

By March I’d had another scan and told that I had nodules on my lungs, only tiny but they were breast cancer. The oncologist didn’t feel the need to do anything but would keep on monitoring me. I was left feeling a bit confused, not sure if it had spread, did I have secondary breast cancer? I didn’t know and no one seemed to tell me. The only thing was to have another scan, bloods etc and see him again in six months. That was, or at least seemed, a long six months.

So six months later, at the end of September, I saw the onc. The last scan showed signs of breast cancer in my bones and my liver. Yes it has spread. Now I have to have oral chemo, oh, and some bone strengthening injection that can cause something nasty to happen in my jaw! What fun!! So very quickly, before we fly off, I need to have a dental X-ray, and I have been sent home with a little folder and a thermometer!

So today it starts  for real – we got home from Spain last night and today it begins.

The horror for today, and believe me I am terrified, is the oral surgery department at the hospital for a dental check up. Most of my teeth are crowned anyway but the last couple of years, since taking arimidex, my gums have been a real problem. Something that a lot of people seem to suffer whilst taking these tablets, and also after the radiotherapy, I wonder if there is a connection?

After today, I get one day off, and then I’m off to the hospital again to start the chemo.

Not a happy bunny…..

 

 

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Phew….

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okay, time has flown by again and I’m a bit behind with my posts!

last time I mentioned that I had to have some further tests done. Well these have been carried out and I have been to see the oncologist for the results….

the news was GOOD! Everything was ‘normal’ (whatever that may be!) and I actually got to hear the words ” you are in remission!”

I still have to be monitored etc but that is reassuring to me. Needless to say we did have a little celebration!! Now I just need to find where I put all my energy – I seem to have misplaced it somewhere and I really do need to find it now! X

How time flies……

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Well, I’m amazed at how the time has flown. It’s a year ago since my second battle with pesky cancer.

i had the surgery, followed by 15 sessions of radio therapy. Once again I got off light and told I didn’t need chemo.

The radio therapy was ok. It was more nuisance than anything else. Because the cancer had been so close to the middle of my chest my oncologist was worried about the normal sort of radio used for breast cancer damaging my heart and both lungs – hearing that kind of thing always makes you feel better! So he decided to do a more shallow version more commonly used for skin cancers.

My skin did burn quite bad and the E45 cream they said to use on it made it worse, but a bit of aloe vera gel did the trick

A little cooked

Recovering quite well from all of this I decided to learn how to play golf!
I joined some group lessons at our local golf course and I really enjoy it. I have even gone out in the rain to play – not like me at all. But I’m liking it soooo much I decided to get a proper membership and take the game up.

Recently I’ve been back to see the onc and get the results of my CT scan that I had done last month.
He was super pleased at how well my skin had healed, in fact you can hardly see where I had the radio therapy
My blood tests came back fine BUT – and there it is. The “but” . Blood starts running cold again.
it now seems there is a shadow in my large bowel and a shadow in my right lung. I was gob smacked. In fact, my gob had never felt so smacked. All I could think was “blink in’ heck…not again!”
Now I am waiting for a colonoscopy (what a JOY!) and a repeat CT in three months.
Rightly or wrongly I am feeling a little bit done for. Should I bother writing my Christmas list?? Will I be around long enough?? Will I get to my next birthday?? Should I bother buying a new pair of uggs?? Will I EVER get a bus pass? (I’ll be bloody annoyed if I don’t !)
More’s to the point should I get a years membership for my golf?
I’ll let you know how it goes

Recovering well…….

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Came out of surgery okay.

I was a little surprised to see a great big dressing and a drain but I have every faith in my surgeon.

when said surgeon came to see me the next morning she explained that the dressing etc was to try and curb bruising. Apparently the tumour was attached to my muscle – not sure if that is a bad thing but I don’t like the sound of it. I really don’t want to lose my muscle, it would end up with an even bigger dent than I’ve got already and I think that this little episode may  have put me off having a reconstruction for a while.

I have an appointment with my consultant on Wednesday, hopefully it will be good news but I have to confess to being a tad worried. Do I feel lucky?…..

Here I am again……

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Just before my last post – 2 days before in fact – I had been to see my breast care team for my annual follow up. Everything was fine, no problems and was told I would be seen again next year. Phew! What a relief.

Anybody that has been in this sort of situation knows how it feels to be told by your surgeon that there is no sign of anything abnormal. Little did I know then that feeling was going to be short lived.

let me fill you in…..

About a month after seeing the consultant I felt a lump. A small lump in the same side as I had had my mastectomy.  “It can’t be anything serious ” I thought. There is nothing there to get breast cancer in. Keep an eye on it I thought.

two weeks later I thought it was getting bigger……off to the GP I go.

“Hmm,” he said “let’s be on the safe side and get the consultant to check it out”

“Hmm,” I thought ” that don’t sound too promising”

so off to the clinic I go.

One examination, one scan and one biopsy later it was confirmed…….I had cancer back.

so then the fear is, has it spread anywhere else?

a rather busy few days followed. A CT scan of head chest abdo and pelvis, , blood tests, bone scan all came back clear – except for an enlarged lymph node in my chest.

yay! Another surgery to remove the lump followed by radio this time should sort it out.

So, here I am, going in for surgery tomorrow morning.

The speed at which this has all happened is amazing (and not to mention a little scary). But there it is, that is how it goes. The positive in all this is that we caught it before it could cause any more problems.

Hopefully it will not come back again – fingers crossed x

It scared me………

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I heard somewhere once that you should do something everyday that scares you. Well today I did just that.

I’ve been struggling a bit with coming to terms with my new figure!

To be honest with you I don’t much like it at all

Problem is though it is something I’ve got to put up with for a while……so learning to accept it is high priority

so, today I took a bold step, well I think it is quite a bold brave step. For me it was.

So, I know you are wondering what this major step was that I took, I had a photo shoot with our local photographers!

She is a lovely girl and put me at my ease and yes I have had my mastectomy scar photographed! All done very tastefully of course but I feel hopeful of some nice photos!

Because I was having a  ‘nearly naked’ photo taken I couldn’t wear my bra or prosthesis to go into town…..,so that was another challenge and another fear faced.

I have to admit to feeling quite good about my bravery so I will celebrate with a nice cup of tea! Can’t wait to see my pictures now!

 

 

What a day……

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Well 2014 hasn’t quite had the fantastic start I had hoped for.

After last years crappiness – cancer, mastectomy and all that- I had higher hopes for this year……it hasn’t worked out like that…….yet.

The day before yesterday was like a day from hell……what went wrong? I’m sure you’re asking……well, I will tell you:

I was nearly on my way out the door to go to my optician appointment when my eldest offspring rang my mobile. Whilst on the phone to my son (trying to sort out a problem for him) hubby rang the other phone leaving a message to ring him – he had a bit of a problem!

So finishing one problem phone call I rang the other one back. Hubby told me that on his way into work he had hit a fox with the car. That made him feel bad but then he set off to go to another site only to find that hitting the fox had actually damaged the car ( front skirt and radiator) so now he was stranded up a country lane with an overheating car and no water! Lucky for him it was recycling day so a house along the road had put out empty plastic bottles – his inspiration was to aquire a bottle or two and ask the householder to fill up with water. Good plan except while he was on the phone to me the recycling truck came along and emptied the bin!!

So any hoo the reason he needed to speak to me was for the car insurance details. That’s ok I knew exactly where they were didn’t I? Wrong! They weren’t where I thought they should be! So telling him I would have to hunt for them later because I was going to be late for my appointment we finished our phone call.

I settled the dogs, put on my lippy and left the house only to find that MY car wouldn’t start. By now I was so late there was no way I could walk or get the bus so I had to ring and cancel my appointment. Now got to wait a week for another one.

I started the search for the car documents, they weren’t in the first place they should have been, nor the second! So I upped the search! Out of desperation I remembered there was a basket with some papers in a cupboard, a new cupboard we only fitted less than a year ago, and to my horror…..the basket was mouldy!! Yuk! It was a lovely basket too – now it is in the bin! But worse still it had ruined the shelf so now that is in the bin too!

OK, I’m sure you’re getting the feel for this now aren’t you?

Having got said documents I rang him indoors with the details he needed – and guess what…….we didn’t have recovery on that policy!

Darn it!

So he got that sorted but couldn’t use the recovery for 24hours! There he was 130+ miles away from home having to wait till the next day to get recovered!

Happy Days!

Next another phone call, this time from the hospital offering me an appointment that I had been waiting for, for the following day, which I had to decline as I had a pre-arranged pub lunch with the ladies from the breast cancer support group that I really didn’t want to miss so had to re-arrange for next week.

My day just kept getting worse and worse with lots of little things much too futile to mention but big enough to be irritating.

The following day……I went to my pub lunch by way of ‘foot power’ and indulged in a well deserved glass of wine,  the recovery vehicle picked hubby up, bought him all the way home , dropped the car off at our local garage (who he had already spoken to and who already had a radiator and a battery on order for us) and then delivered Hubby to our door!

Perfick! Hopefully things will improve from here on!

Shall I or Shan’t I…………..

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It’s been a while since I have posted anything on here.The truth is that I haven’t been feeling my chirpiest for quite a bit of the time and I didn’t really want to chat. I think that the tablets I have to take are having a few side effects……hopefully I’ll get over them – I don’t fancy feeling like this for five years!

However I think the worst of that might be over for a while! My mind has been getting quite creative and this morning I had a bit of a bright idea.

One that was either going to be brilliant or a complete disaster!

In our lounge I have two pine chests of drawers. I love them for their use but pine is not particularly my style – so I decided I would give them a facelift.

 

This is how it started

This is how it started

It was quite a major decision as to whether to actually do this or not……

No turning back now

No turning back now

Oh, what the heck!!  Grab the courage of my convictions and get on with it!!!

And I’m so glad I did.

Ta Dah!

Ta Dah!

I’m rather pleased with the result.

Just got another one to do tomorrow. Out of interest I took a photo of the two windows for comparison. I think it really brightens it all up.

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Hope hubby likes it.    Please let me know what you think  x x

missing my craft room……..

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We have lived here at the seaside for just over a year now and I absolutely love it. Despite the fact that we have had a bit of a rough time (him indoors had major surgery last summer and took 3 months to recover, our cat got kidney disease and “went to a better place” – he was well old, we think about 17 years – and the I got ‘the cancer’) but even with everything that has happened I wouldn’t change a thing. Well that’s not quite true.
The house we had before was larger, not a mansion by any means, but it was a four bed house with just me & him (and a son that stayed a while!) in it, and I was lucky enough to be able to claim the smallest bedroom as my craft room.
A whole room dedicated to my crafty untidyness….Bliss!
Him indoors shelved the entire end wall for me to my specifications to fit my needs, and I had full length curtains in front so I could hide the organised chaos! I had my work table and two chairs (so that any visiting grand daughters could join in), my computer and a stereo. A beautifully light room with a big window and lovingly known as ‘The Doing room’ what more could I want?
I spent many lovely long hours in there – just me and my craftiness, especially when I was preparing for a craft fair……..heaven!

Then when we moved we down sized to a two bed bungalow – which I really do love. Every day here I feel like I am on holiday. The bugalow has a kind of holiday lodge feel to it. It’s small (but perfectly formed) but it fits us and our visitors ok. The only thing missing is my craft room, and I do miss that.
I have the benefit of a room in the garden which I have called ‘The Makery’. Its ok in the summer months but not much fun in the winter time. My granddaughters love it out there and we can lose the youngest one for hours on end. But, for me, it’s not the same as my Doing Room.
My craft bits are spread around the entire bungalow, bits here, bits there because no where is big enough to take it all in one place.
Sigh……..I do miss my craft room.

damned pyjamas………

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Before I went to sleep last night I had a little tear (or two) in my eyes. Not a major sobbing session by any means but a little ‘my eyes won’t stop leaking’ kind of thing.

And the same thing happened again this morning.

I really don’t like the new me at all.

All day long my great big bra is uncomfortable. No matter how tight I wear it, it still swizzless round – I assume it is because there is no boob in the way to stop it moving round.
I have to keep on (and on) moving it back….and that is not easy ‘cos it’s so tight.
And because it is soooo tight it gets uncomfortable uncomfortable and painful around my ribs by the end of the day

So I put my pyjamas on…..

And there we have the problem – I look ridiculous. I’ve said this before I know but it’s not getting any better.
I can’t get past this fact and that upsets me too.

I’m ever so glad that I am on anti depressants already. Goodness only knows what kind of sniveling wreck I’d be if I wasn’t on them. I guess that is what holds back the full on sobbing stuff.
Makes me wonder will I ever come off them??. And if I do what on earth will happen??. Reality will really kick in then………I’ll stay on them for a while longer me thinks!!

I feel like I should put a photo on here to prove my point. But I don’t want to offend or shock any one out there.
Oh, what the heck………think I’ll do it anyway. So please look away now if you are easily offended

Scroll down…….

Scroll down……..

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And that isn’t the worst PJ top – tight ones are worse.

I wonder if I’ll always feel like this? I do hope not.