Monthly Archives: April 2013

before I go………

before I go………

Before I go and take my place in the sun……..
While I was getting dressed this morning, I realised I wasn’t very happy with my ‘cumfie’ yesterday. For some reason it wasn’t working awfully well. I think that, in an effort to get it right, I had fiddled with its lining and stuffing so much – in a very disorganized kind of way I might add – that it was no longer anything like what it’s supposed to be!
And besides, I’m an artistic sort of person and the symmetry was not near enough for my liking. So this morning I have completely dismantled it, rearranged it and ‘re-mantled’ it. I hope it lives up to its name a bit better today – here’s to the cumfie.

Maybe I should knit myself a new boob!



This morning scabs and superglue are falling off and things are feeling a little sore.

The major pain seems to have moved over to a niggling ‘surface soreness’ which I am finding very irritating!

For me pain is strangely preferable! Not that I like pain you understand, but with pain comes a sort of malaise that just makes you want to be quite and calm, maybe stay in bed and sleep a while longer. For me it makes pain easier to deal with.
But this niggling is like having a toothache in a non existent chesticle. My clothes, or bedcovers, indeed everything rubs against me with every breath I take. There is this soreness, yet I am feeling well in myself. I want to be doing things, but when I am doing things the surface rubs sore, and that is irritating!
There must be a way to solve this little problem……when I find it I’ll let you know.

My plan for today………….is more of the same!
It’s looking like another lovely day (it does seem that the timing of all this couldn’t have been better – if you have to go through it you may as well get to recover in some good weather)
This is where I plan to spend most of my day, a bit of knitting Interspersed with a walk along the sea front with the dog, and maybe a coffee at the club. Seems like a good plan to me

and the little one said……..


Today I have managed to do a little bit of tidying up for myself  – I haven’t exactly over done things you understand, just a little dusting of get Well cards and a minor amount of dead heading flower arrangements!

Obviously someone was glad that I was up and about


Imagebless her


she must have been so tired. Sleep tight x

every day in every way……….


Today is yet another day post surgery and everyday in every way it all just gets better and better!
I find it very hard to believe that tomorrow it will be two weeks ago that I was off to the hospital for my first ever surgery. The time has flown by so quickly.

Pain is definitely minimal now and my arm movement is better by the minute. However, the glue that held it all together is getting quite itchy and scratchy now. I think it will fall off soon…….I hope it does.

It does help, I think, that the sun has been shining for a few days now and I’ve had the opportunity to be sitting out in the garden, enjoying the sea air and getting stronger all the time. While I was sitting out there today I couldn’t help but think how much my mum would have loved it here.

Yesterday I was feeling a teensy bit low about my rather ugly bra. Him indoors, being the sweetie that he is, took me out and bought me a new bra. Bless him. I can’t wear it just yet, but it is more the kind of thing I’m used , much more of a bra than a vest and it will be a huge boost of confidence. I can’t wait until I can wear it (I’ll probably have my proper fake boob by them) Ahhh, I do love him you know!

Now, as I said before, we were supposed to be going out but had to cancel our tickets. Well, we popped into the quite bar for a drink and were joined by lots of lovely people, friends, that made our evening splendid. we laughed and chatted and I felt so ‘loved and nurtured’ by all of them. Thank you peeps, it is your warmth and friendship I am sure that has made my recovery so swift.

On a different subject, I’ve been asked for the pattern for my ‘Little Ted’ Well, I didn’t actually work from a pattern. I just kinda made it up as I went along. I will try and write it down (after a fashion!) and put it on here eventually.

I feel frumpy…….


Today is a funny old day and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

We should have been going out for a swanky evening with a lot of glamorous people this evening but obviously we had to cancel our tickets due to my surgery. So instead of planning a pretty outfit for tonight I’m looking at putting on me vest and pull up trousers!!
I’m feeling a bit frumpy. While I had all the initial pain and tenderness and was wandering around the house just in my dressing gown it didn’t bother me in the slightest.

But today is a little different.

It will pass – I know it will. Time will make a difference I know that too, with more healing time I will be able to wear a nicer bra – one that looks like a bra and doesn’t resemble a school vest!

But right at this moment….I FEEL FRUMPY!

I had a bath…..


Having established at my hospital appointment that it was ok to get everything wet, I decided I would have a bath tonight.

Big mistake!!!!

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed my bath, scrubbed my face and even did a face mask – got to make an effort haven’t you?
I buffed and polished and very delicately dabbed around ‘that area’ until I was satisfied that I’d had enough

That was where the trouble started…

I wasn’t sure how I was gonna get out! You see our bath is very narrow…….and I’m not.
I couldn’t lift myself on both elbows, and I didn’t have enough room in the bath to get my legs under me. no matter which way I tried, or which way I faced I just couldn’t lever myself out. So I drained the water. Seemed like a bright idea at the time but it didn’t achieve very much. I still could not lift myself out. Oh dear, so I called for hubby. Now I should probably explain here that I am of a fairly prudish kind of nature. I have always believed that there should be a degree of privacy and mystery in a marriage and in the 31 years of ours we have managed to maintain this standard……until now.

Anyhoo, I called for my knight in shining armour and he came… did the dog. Our bathroom is definitely not big enough for all of us so she had to go.
I had to admit at this point I was stuck. And it was then that the worried look on hubbys face turned to laughter.
That in turn made me laugh, in fact I couldn’t stop laughing. We had no idea what we were going to do about this. He got behind me and tried to push, then he tried to pull but nothing was helping. That made the laughing worse. At one point he even suggested getting the fire brigade out!!!
Now that wasn’t funny…..but we laughed some more anyway!

Then I had a bright idea, a light bulb moment. Perhaps we could get a bath towel under my ample bottom and use it like a hoist – he could pull while I lifted. Seemed like a plan, and it would have been ok if only I’d had enough room in the bath to lift one cheek at a time to get the towel under. However I could only manage to get it under one cheek, so it then had to go up between my knees. Now I was looking like a sumo wrestler with that nappy thing they wear. By this time the laughing had turned to fits of giggles and we weren’t safe to do anything, but there was no choice we had to continue.
We took a breath and calmed ourselves, he pulled, I pushed and eureka……..I was out!
I think I will stick with showers for a while!!

what a laugh….


Today has been fantastical.

The dog had another spa day (hasn’t that come round quick?) so hubby and I took the opportunity to go out for a while. We popped to the shops as I really don’t have enough tops that button down the front. I was warned that it is difficult (!) to get clothes on over your head in the early days after mastectomy so be sure to have button fronted tops. I thought I had catered for this sufficiently, but what I didn’t take into account was that mostly the tops were quite sheer material and require a camisol underneath! Kind of defeats the object really. So we went shopping.

A reasonably successful trip – although it seems quite difficult to get what I really want…….a nice colour, bit of pattern to hide any discrepancies, buttoned at front, high-ish neckline and a soft tee shirt material…… I really too demanding!! Obviously I am, so I pushed my luck a bit more and suggested ‘tea at the sea’
The sun was shining, a light warm breeze and me and my man on the sea front – what more can a girl want?

Oh, and the dog looks gorgeous.

lymph node result……


Well, I’ll get straight to the point here – my SNB was clear, my lymph glands are unaffected. Good news eh?

My tumour was hormone positive so I will need hormone treatment but they didn’t tell me yet if I will need chemo or radiotherapy. The team have still got to work that one out

Every one was very pleased with the way my wound was looking and healing (apparently it’s a very neat job, well done surgeon!)
and there is no sign of fluid build up. All very positive.

In fact it has been a very positive day all round. The shower / hair wash made me feel so much more human (and now I’ve been told it’s ok to get it wet), the hospital appointment was good news, then we went to one of the sea front bars and indulged in a nice cup of tea, then a trip to the GP surgery for another certificate, then to our local club to see friends

Wallace and grommets first day out was very busy but Oh, so very nice. I am absolutely shattered now and I must confess to really wanting to take my ‘booby hanger’ off for the night. I’ve done well but now all I want is my dressing gown and bed

Sleep tight x

todays challenge…….


my challenge today is my post op visit to the hospital.

In order to prepare for the biggest outing I’ve had in over a week – actually to be more precise the ONLY outing I’ve had in over a week – I need (desperately!!) to wash my hair. It has done me well this far. It was a wise decision of mine to have my hair cropped short before all this got started as it has meant that a water spray and wet flannel has sufficed. However, now it has all gone one day too far and it needs a blooming good wash.

That brings with it the next major hurdle……..a shower!! Having been told not to get that corner of me wet I have so far had to make do with sponge baths – my hubby is fast becoming a fully fledged Florence Nightingale BLESS – but the need for hair washing necessitates a shower. I will just have to do the best I can to keep one corner of me dry while washing my hair using only one hand because the other won’t go over my head yet.

Perhaps I could stand on one leg and whistle Dixie at the same time.

Goods news today from friends of ours – they have had a baby boy. Well done peeps xx
Must confess to being a tad jealous……….her hospital goodie bag is way better than mine, all I got was a false boob and a sick bucket! Hers is a far better deal!!!

Hopefully I will get more good news as today I find out about my lymph nodes (SNB) I really really do hope I don’t have to go back for more surgery to remove them. Fingers crossed xx